The heat's been broke in our house all year. It wasn't until early February we discovered the crisply burnt propane we thought had been heating our house was instead warmly propane fumes being dumped into our air vents. To be sure, this is the equivalent of hiring a homeless man to sit at our air grates and breath warm air.
God bless it, you know there is nothing like breathing carbon monoxide. Some might say it's bad for you. Others would argue that it's clinically bad for you. I tell you it does wonders for your synapses (provided you never need nor want to use them again).
But here's what I love. The heat breaks. Fine. We fix it. The propane tank empties. Fine, again, it's getting warm. We don't refill the propane. It gets warm. Great! We turn on the AC. It's broken. Fine. We pay to repair it. We use the AC for three days. Good. It gets cold again. Fine. It gets freezing. Fine. It snows. Fuck. We move. Can't move. We wait. It's cold. It's so cold.
I hate this house.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Monday, April 09, 2007
Easter Weekend
Signed a new lease over Easter weekend. I'm not saying the place I live now is bad, but the heating and air condition are broken, there's no trash pick up, and I think dead things have come back to life as a mold colonies within our walls. It's a fixer upper lacking the ability to ever be fixed, and I like to think of it as Hell without the heating.
I like the new place - not in love - but I do like it. Of course, there's always a mild infatuation with new places you move into. Mainly because it's new, but also because it doesn't suck like your old place. Your new place has its flaws, but you can't see them yet. It's like a gorgeous crazy woman, and until they open their yammer you can't call them certifiable. I suppose I'll have to wait for it to rain or snow or emit some type of sunshine in order to find out if the walls and ceilings they advertised for the place actually word.
The set up will be sweet, with two dueling TVs. They'll be Bob, the 61" TV that compensates for my small genitals, and a yet unnamed second TV opposite it. Two couches, a love seat, and bar stools. That's about the extent of the setup. Why would two guys need anything more?
I like the new place - not in love - but I do like it. Of course, there's always a mild infatuation with new places you move into. Mainly because it's new, but also because it doesn't suck like your old place. Your new place has its flaws, but you can't see them yet. It's like a gorgeous crazy woman, and until they open their yammer you can't call them certifiable. I suppose I'll have to wait for it to rain or snow or emit some type of sunshine in order to find out if the walls and ceilings they advertised for the place actually word.
The set up will be sweet, with two dueling TVs. They'll be Bob, the 61" TV that compensates for my small genitals, and a yet unnamed second TV opposite it. Two couches, a love seat, and bar stools. That's about the extent of the setup. Why would two guys need anything more?