Black Spring Break 2: The Sequel

Tell me how it is people get money. Is there a line I need to stand in or maybe a form I haven't filled out? I can't wrap my brain around how people who have to work in order to earn their money would willingly part with it, especially to a fool with a camera. Even if Steven Spielberg came to me with a full crew, camera in hand, asking for a measly ten bucks I'd be pretty damn uncooperative in giving him my cash. My reluctance shouldn't stop you from ever giving me money if I need it for film, I'm just saying it's stopping me.

I watched about three fourths the film, missing the beginning - where I'm sure all plot, character formation, and all other essential film stuff was located. For that, I forgive the efforts found in the latter half of the film. Let's see, how could I break this film down to you. Two black guys work their way down to Daytona. One is an unmarried football star, the other a virgin. This is how I know it's a good film right off the bat? Did you see that? I told you one thing about each of them, but already you know what's going to happen to them. See how well this is crafted? They decide to fix their problems (assuming a football star's millions and cocaine connections couldn't t fix problems) by pledging a black frat.

I want to take a break here to remind you that our own black frat at Elon recently had a thingy. This thingy was about tolerating indifference, or peace with fellow man, or some random bullshit about how people have the wrong perceptions of blacks. This thingy ended with the black frat rioting. This event should not be lost on you.

Back to the film. The black fraternity says that the virgin needs to lose it "on tape" (please, nigga don't have DVD?) in order to join the frat. Well... he does. But how? Ooooh, I wouldn't want to give away too much, you might want to find out for yourself. I will give you a hint: vagina. There's also some crap about a western union office and a football agent dating a porn star or licking pubic hair off a slurpee cup lid found in the back of an Exxon - I can't be pestered with details at this hour. The point remains, we should not be giving these people money. And you know what I mean by 'these people'.

Jesus. I'm talking about bad film makers. Not blacks. God, I'm not that much of a heartless, jackass, racist. (reminders for class: doom is out this weekend. Support the men in your life, go see it with him)