TK Static

I ate two dinners tonight. I wasn't hungry either, but God bless it the second was free. That inner poor boy inside me owns up every time free food is mentioned. Its kind of whenever a sorority chick goes "I'm so drunk" and only two or three thoughts can roll through your head. The male thought progression, ladies, works very quickly and operates how you expect:

Thought #1
That's disgusting. She is so drunk, what an embarrassment.

Thought #2
She's kind of cute when she's not yelling.

Thought #3
I'd hit that.

If she isn't drunk, skip right to step three. And that's how simple we are. It's our thoughts that make us complex, not our basic nature. Back to free food: free food is great. I ate four different types of animals today. FOUR! I can remember a time when eating one animal was a treat. Simpler times.

Speaking of simpler times, when did sending a girl flowers become not enough to even warrant a response? I used FTD.com to send someone flowers and what I got in return was the most functional voice mail ever. You people should follow my lead and note that when people only call you drunk, it's because they only call you drunk; You're probably not that appealing sober. I actually sent the flowers to gauge the reaction and goddamnit if it didn't hurt to be right.

TK Static is in town, so be sure to call him or see him sometime this weekend. The man came quite a ways to be here, the least you could do his look him up and buy him coffee.

Reminders for the class: Cantina is pretty much the only reason I get out of bed in the morning. I have Thursday nights to myself and that's it. God bless the drink.