The following is a public service works. I'm preventing you from future embarrassment. This small list of items need to be eliminated from the possession of every woman. These innocuous, seemingly every day items will come back to bite them in the ass when they look at photos twenty years from now. And - yes - for the mean time, these all happen to piss me off. A lot.
Things I Want Eliminated From The Female Inventory:
Collars That Pop
Small Dogs
Ugg Boots
Big Glasses
shiny Lipstick
Big Hoop earrings
Shirts With One Shoulder Strap
Anything That Glitters
Belly Button Rings
Tattoos That Mean Nothing
Glasses That Tint Halfway
Orange Tanning Product
Trucker Hats
Trucker Hats When Titled Slightly
Anything That Can Be Bedazzled
Shirts That Show Midriff
Pictures Of White Girls Throwing Gang Signs
Pants That....
....you know what? Just look for anything and everything that can be seen worn on MTV. Let me just redirect you there instead.
God damnit I hate it when girls throw GANGSTA signs.. and I just want to punch you.
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