The Last Beer

This is the way college ends.
This is the way college ends.
This is the way college ends.

Not with a bang, but a keg.

I'm sure only two of you got that, but it's okay since I only write for two of you. Upfront - apologies for my behavior. I was Captain Sketch of the Sketch Force last night, fully equipped with an armada of sketchy actions and behavior. I do not regret anything that happened, mostly because I cannot remember it, but I won't say I was proud. No, pride is a sin and I must remain virtuous. I'll remind you that we started and finished a keg in one night with less than thirty people, an accomplishment rarely made in my E201 days.

I have an alcohol problem, yes, but it's mildly curbed. I say that in comparison to - oh - Mickey Rourke in Barfly. With that problem in mind, I tried to not drink before eleven. At our parties, we have a habit of starting at nine only to find that no one has arrived by ten. At that point we consider the whole party a bust and go for broke. Then 11:30 roles around and I'm half naked with a lamp shade on my crotch while Sean Deakins is choking me and calling me 'Pasos Billy'. That's also around the point where the place becomes packed. So I waited until eleven last night - gasp - no one was there. So then we all hit the bottle as hard we could. Like magic, they all showed up.

I could recap more, but if you weren't there you probably wouldn't be reading this. Suffice to say that everyone made three mistakes that would behoove them to never think about again. I'm looking at you, Kids Making Out On The Children's Swing Set.

Reminders for class: What a nice way to go.