Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Heat [Not The Movie]

The heat's been broke in our house all year. It wasn't until early February we discovered the crisply burnt propane we thought had been heating our house was instead warmly propane fumes being dumped into our air vents. To be sure, this is the equivalent of hiring a homeless man to sit at our air grates and breath warm air.

God bless it, you know there is nothing like breathing carbon monoxide. Some might say it's bad for you. Others would argue that it's clinically bad for you. I tell you it does wonders for your synapses (provided you never need nor want to use them again).

But here's what I love. The heat breaks. Fine. We fix it. The propane tank empties. Fine, again, it's getting warm. We don't refill the propane. It gets warm. Great! We turn on the AC. It's broken. Fine. We pay to repair it. We use the AC for three days. Good. It gets cold again. Fine. It gets freezing. Fine. It snows. Fuck. We move. Can't move. We wait. It's cold. It's so cold.

I hate this house.

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