The internal memo I wish I could circulate to my staff

I object to the gross overuse of slang describing things in our professional workplace. ‘Ghetto’ is no way to describe the status of a million dollar building installation. 'Skank-ass' is not a suitable euphemism for the degrading clean suits used in static-free room. ‘Gay’ is not a verbal placeholder for ‘non functioning’. Please only use the term ‘fag’ to describe a British brand cigarette, not users in the A-wing. And please, for the love of God, do not point strongly at my bosses with your fingers while shooting. The sound of fake gun noises does not help.