AWK-Ward

I see my world with extreme clarity, I just have trouble functioning in it. I also have trouble with operating my basic motor skills. I'm not talking about embarrassing myself in front of strangers, I mean doing things by myself and not getting it right. Sometimes dribble comes out when I talk on the phone, other times I feel like I don't know what to do with my hands. I'll stare at my bathroom sink for toothpaste and never figure out where it is - in my hand. I'll be driving my car and start patting my pockets. 'Oh, God. Did I forget my keys?' No. They're in the goddamned ignition.

So needless to say, alcohol does not help much with me being me. In fact, you might say it impairs my motor functions (Where have I heard that before?). When my friends get me ripped beyond comprehension, I believe I make the worst decisions that I'm capable of. It's usually at that point I should back off and have a Mountain Dew. Ah, but no. I will swashbuckle like a pirate to make my way through and tackle whatever odds to make my idiotic delusions a possibility. The day after is like airing out a laundry list of errors. Each memory evokes one special phrase: "What the shit?"

So now I have to pay and walk around with my tail rolled up between my vag. I lost. So if you're reading this and you know what I'm talking about, sorry. I'm just me. Awkward.

Reminders to class: Teacher isn't supposed to have his computer running or cell phone on when drinking. Remind teacher if he gets lit during recess next time.