Why I Hate Tron

There are films that people embrace for reasons I don't understand. Whenever I'm told by people their favorite movie is something like 'Blue Crush' or 'Princess Diaries', I find myself wanting to leave not only the conversation, but the planet. But I continue the talk, find the few good things I know about the movie, then silently assure myself God, nor this person's parents, created them with any particular plan in mind.

But then there is the small margin of films I despise. That's a step beyond disgusted. People who know me can you those are two things I'm not often doing. I will fake those feelings, but those in the know can tell you I'm indifferent to just about everything on the planet. Few things motivate me enough to produce genuine feeling; most annoy me enough to force out a cheap joke out and smile until it's over. Women, for the most, have the latter effect on me. The only other thing that can tick me off that much is a bad film - and people who like them.

Which brings me to Tron. I will now judge it for you under the five point system I devised in third grade. I will also speak like a third grader to further degrade this film.

Name - Tron is a stupid name. Even once you've seen the movie, it makes no sense. Before I saw Tron, I didn't know what a Tron was. Now that I have, I don't remember. Tron is dumb.
(0 out of 1)

Actors - I couldn't tell. Everybody was bright colors. Nobody had a face. I think Jeff Bridges or Jeff Daniels was in it.
(0 out of 1)

Action - There was a chase with light bikes. I think I have this game at home. This game was not as exciting as the ones I play with my dad.
(0 out of 1)

Funny - I didn't laugh at anything they said that was funny. Jeffy screamed at one point, but I think that was in pain. I still laughed then.
(0 out of 1)

Awesome - Clearly not.
(0 out of 1)

There is no reason to like this film. I hope somebody hits you with a punch to the side of your butt if you do like it.

Reminders for class: Stupid people overpopulated this planet long ago. Though they are a majority, shoot them on sight.