How To View The World Like Me

I have taken considerable time off in between finishing the story to make sure I won't just write down certain thing as happening certain ways just because I was pissed. That would be bad. The story is finished, in fact has been for two weeks. I reserve the right to amend sections of it because honesty usually doesn't win you friends.

So instead, I'll now teach you how to view the world like me. This started as a post on my facebook.com account, but turned into this long, nonsensical mess. So here are step by step instructions to seeing the world like me.

How To View The World Like Me:
1.) Turn your TV to MTV.
2.) Watch it until Room Raiders comes on.
3.) See if you can count how many times one of the people locked inside the van respond with a sound, not a sentence. Also, count for each time you want to call someone stupid.
4.) Write down the total number.
5.) Turn off your TV.
6.) Read this or this or this or this. (The more you read, the better)
7.) Read it again. Struggle to understand six or more lines.
8.) Write down the number of lines you understood.
9.) Compare your two sets of numbers. Be upset you can pick out more stupid things your culture does rather than smart.
10.) Go outside and look at the sky.
11.) Put MTV back on.

If you can sit through until commercial break after you've finished this list, do it again time later. You're in no way supposed to be able to function. Your mind should start to feel numb like someone pushed a spoon inside your ear. If the list works and MTV stays on long enough, you'll eventually have to break the neck of a kitten or a small child because MTV is so stupid. If there are no children or kittens in proximity, you will seek them out.

Reminders for class: I'll start posting again. Stop complaining. Voice Mails do not make me go faster. Plus it 'Holiday' time. Gosh Golly.