My Beef With Jesus

I've got this thing with religion. I can't find myself believing in it anymore. I used to, a while back, but that's not me anymore. Faith is cool because it means so many things, but whenever I tread beyond that I just get annoyed. The basic concept of worshipping a deity a convoluted mess. Seriously think about it. If your God was any other God, say a half cow-half elephant creation, wouldn't you think it was a little odd? A tad bit silly? You are worshipping something bigger then you with a cow-elephant body. Do you think my cat worships me just because I'm taller? Yes. Yes he does. He brings me dead things, and that's how I know he loves me.

But is he wrong? No. Fuck no. Everybody on this planet should worship me, as long as they know I am not a deity. And I'm not talking about worshipping in the religious sense, I'm talking about it in terms of loving unconditionally. That's kind of worship I seek.

Back to deities. Let's take the basic view of God. A white, sandal wearing, bearded God. Same one that made the world in seven days and made it rain back in '92 ruining my outdoor birthday party. That's the fucker we're talking about.

This guy is 'fair and just' and omnipotent, right? All seeing, all knowing. So tell me where bad things come into play. If he sees everything but can't stop the pain or suffering, that knocks him out of the running for omnipotent. If the opposite was true, that would mean he sees it but let's it happen anyway; that hardly makes him just or fair.

What's that leave? A third option where that sandal wearing hippy sees everything but does nothing about it? Yup, I think so. Hey, hey! Don't give me any test of character crap. You don't see parents having children then tossing their two year old in with a pack of feral dogs just to see if they have the cajones to last it out. That kid has nothing to prove to his parents. What would they want to see anyway, that he can ninja kick his way out of a pack of dogs? So I would ask what do I have to prove to a God? I'm acting just the way he made me.

All right. Bring it in now. Life isn't some giant moral clusterfuck and nobody cares about the moral quagmires of ants. Those of you who would argue that out of the billions of us inhabiting the planet right now, someone has meticulously laid down a fully realized plan for each of us are crazy. One being in charge of it all? Buddy, I have a hard enough time keeping my urine flow in the bowl.

Reminders for the class: 5% of this country is at war. The rest of us are living our lives like normal. Want to fix that? Institute the draft - all genders, all ages, no exceptions. Shit'll be fixed inside of the first 48.