Why I've Given Up On Elon Women

I had titled this 'Why Kate ##### almost turned me gay', but I figured the effect would be about the same with the one I have listed.

There's a popular myth among girls at my school that there are three types of men at Elon: Taken, Gay, and Assholes. For them, I'm sure the simplification works. I won't try to say that they may have their sights too high in a school that thrives on superficiality, but goddamnit nobody came her for quality. Maybe they ought to try something beyond the loudest or drunkest.

In retaliation, the men [read: I] have categorized the female populous into two types of women at Elon: Crazy and Whore. I feel if I get lumped in with asshole just for being, I should get the same luxury when assigning placement with the women.

Academically, this is a place where you get recognized for being yourself all the time. Socially, I'd say you have better luck losing a foot and hobbling around Cantina, begging for sympathy.

This isn't the kind of place to find anyone. You shouldn't walk out of here without anything but a better understanding of yourself. If you walk out these halls with someone in toe, congrats. You've done something I could never.

And it's not like I haven't half-way kind of tried. I'm so easy that I fall in love with every woman who makes eye contact with me. Serious, even a glance that's going over my shoulder I interpret as unrequited love. But this school hasn't produced one person that makes me feel even slightly good about myself. But who's fault is that? It's not like the propaganda machine at this school ever had pamphlets proclaiming "Meet your soul mate, plus learn stuff". That would be selling the total package.

So Kenji's done with this place. I'll wait until I'm loaded and I'll meet a nice ex-stripper, then take care of her.

Reminders for class: I really wasn't going to turn gay. It's just that I had ran out of women.