Ummm... only if you pay for them and don't invite me.

I had a 41 year old ask me out for drinks today. At first, I thought it was a joke - I remembered laughing at 30 Rock when older women called themselves 'cougars' and aggressively perused younger men. Ha! What a show...

But then I realized she was seriously asking that I meet her at George's in Durham by 9:00. I wanted someone to come pull me out of the situation with speed and grace, like the way parents pull a baby out of a high chair as he's crapping himself.

I think, in a lot of ways, I would have rather died.

P.S. Here are some dumb looking kids that
make me feel better about my day

70 Songs That Have Changed My Life

Find the MP3s yourself.

1. smashing pumpkins - 1979
2. pinback - loro
3. jamiroquai - blow your mind
4. zero 7 - destiny
5. omar - there's nothing like this
6. lenny kravitz - it ain't over 'til it's over
7. the dandy warhols - bohemian like you
8. aquanote - nowhere
9. badly drawn boy - silent sigh
10. suede - beautiful ones
11. ben folds five - smoke
12. bjork - it's oh so quiet
13. the shins - new slang
14. blur - song 2
15. the cardigans - love fool
16. the murmurs - you suck
17. brand new heavies - stay gone
18. safri duo - baya baya
19. cibo matto - stone
20. nirvana - smells like teen spirit
21. dashboard confessional - screaming infedilities
22. the lemonheads - my drug buddy
23. dave matthews band - say goodbye
24. the postal service - such great heights
25. blue six - music and wine
26. the strokes - last nite
27. incubus - are you in
28. the sundays - you're not the only one i know
29. groove armada - at the river
30. think about cosmo - miss you so
31. frou frou - let go
32. elefant - make up
33. duncan sheik - barely breathing
34. incognito - a shade of blue
35. john mayer - back to you
36. royksopp - sparks
37. kings of convenience - toxic girl
38. lamb - transfatty acid
39. dave matthews band - #41
40. les nubians - makeda
41. marvin gaye - let's get it on
42. george michael feat. mary j. blige - as
43. massive attack - protection
44. new radicals - someday we'll know
45. counting crows - colorblind
46. norah jones - don't know why
47. orbital - beached
48. weezer - say it ain't so
49. underworld - born slippy
50. third eye blind - semi charmed life
51. chemical brothers - star guitar
52. the cure - just like heaven
53. supreme beings of leisure - never the same
54. ben folds - protection
55. saint etienne - woodcabin
56. pulp - disco 2000
57. radiohead - creep
58. portishead - it could be sweet
59. wax poetic feat. norah jones - tell me
60. the apostles - mercy mercy me
61. the wannadies - you and me song
62. gin blossoms - 'til i hear it from you
63. mother earth - jesse
64. lisa loeb - stay
65. franz ferdinand - jacqueline
66. janet jackson - together again
67. goo goo dolls - iris
68. dubstar - stars
69. foo fighters - walking after you
70. smashing pumpkins - perfect

24: Season One - My Review

Thank you for dying.
It made the 16 hours of DVDs all worth while when you kicked the bucket.

Dennis Hopper Really Loves His Goateeeeee

But it's time to give it up. It looks like a poodle hair hung over his lips.

The internal memo I wish I could circulate to my staff

I object to the gross overuse of slang describing things in our professional workplace. ‘Ghetto’ is no way to describe the status of a million dollar building installation. 'Skank-ass' is not a suitable euphemism for the degrading clean suits used in static-free room. ‘Gay’ is not a verbal placeholder for ‘non functioning’. Please only use the term ‘fag’ to describe a British brand cigarette, not users in the A-wing. And please, for the love of God, do not point strongly at my bosses with your fingers while shooting. The sound of fake gun noises does not help.