Maya Rudolph, Please Catch Fire

Maya Rudolph showed up on SNL's season finale in a brief cameo. I've never really latched on to any of her characters, and while that might be my fault, I do have some comforting advice for her.

Please catch on fire.

It can be by accident, of course. You could be innocuously walking around your backyard in your favorite gasoline soaked blouse when all of the sudden you bump up against the grill and burst into flames. It happens more than you think, and nobody would fault you for it.

Or you could be at a trendy bar with a twentieth floor balcony, heated in the winter by some genuine tikki torches. Maybe you back into one of them and it suddenly catches your 100% polyester, drag queen-ish suit, inadvertently causing 50% of your skin to be burned within seconds.

Maybe even have you in the middle of a volcano, floating on a bed of ice, and somehow it gets hot enough to melt the ice and have you fall in? I dunno, still spitballing that last one. I'll get back to you when I figure it out.

New Religion

Hey, sorry I've been absent for a while, I've been busy. It was only a short while ago I found inner peace with my new religion. It's called Taco Bell's Grilled Chicken Burrito, and it's 89 cents.

http://www.tacobell.com/grilled_chicken/

FUCK YOU, CHRISTIANITY!