It's become clear that the real super heroes won't be emerging anytime soon to save this planet. So give me a cape. I will do it. I will fight crime and make right where others have done wrong. I will punch in the name of injustice and knee groins for the sake of righteousness. I will teabag evil. Straight teapot dome scandal style.
As I will now be fighting crime, I need certain things. An outfit for one. I'm thinking about setting myself on fire and fighting crime for twenty seconds at a time. Or maybe assless chaps. Also, I need a sidekick. Jesus has been calling, asking for the gig. LOL, he can't have it. I need a man, not someone who loses a fight to Romans. The guy didn't even kick back. Weak. Weak.
I think my sidekick should just have extreme enthusiasm, but nothing else. I wouldn't want him getting uppity and asking for shit or trying to get it his way. He should back me up, like a good mother. No matter what I do, he should be there with a baked apple pie and bucket full of chilled IBC rootbeer.
As for villains, I think I'll be fine. I could fight all the assholes at Elon and win over everyone. My twenty second fights would become such spectacles that webcams would be placed every ten feet in hopes of capturing them. But guess what? Can't do that shit. I block all the feeds. You have to go through my website and become a member for 39.32 a month. It's a deal. (plus you get a cool wallpaper of me with my foot on a log)
Reminders for class: Though everything comes to an end, not everything has to stop. Example? Happy Days, Season 8.
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