Just watched Disney's The Sword in the Stone. Good thing I didn't look at the cover art. It's not like the freakin' DVD case would have gave away the ending of the movie or anything. It was only the kid lifting the sword up out of the stone while holy, magnificent, awesomely glowing light engulfed everything around him.
So, of course, I was shocked when it ended the same way as on the cover. I guess I was sidetracked by how the title alone could beg so many questions throughout a viewing. Like, how did the sword get in their to begin with? Who thought to place it in stone? And with such a large dilemma, who would be the one individual who would pull it out? Will the sword suffer poor resale value after being left in stone for so long?
Call me a cynic, but if your movie is called "Sword in the Stone" make it about either one of those nouns, or either the article or verb in between them. The movie had nothing to do with that sword in the stone. It was about a some crazy back asswards old man who came from the future to bitch about the past and turn a boy into various animals so he can be criminally assaulted. First the old man turns him into a squirrel - where the boy is molested. Then he turns him into a fish - where he is stalked and an attempt is made on his life. Finally, he is a bird - where he is held hostage by a suicidal owl. Holy crow, what a bad thing to teach our kids.
Seriously, why not just wheel them into the classroom and make them watch 'Requim for a Dream' until they start to shake and cry. They don't need overt methods of telling them danger is around every corner, we can actually just wait around every corner with knives and drugs and anything else that might hurt them.
I am going to be a great father some day.
Reminders for the class: One day until Cantina.
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